I feel like we have turned a corner with our youngest being three. No more diapers, no more stroller– I just carry a purse around now. For the first time in 9 years, I am getting a full night of sleep every night. I feel like I’ve finally figured out a great schedule and plan for homeschooling. I’ve finally figured out my migraines and had my first migraine-free month in 4 years. I have energy and capacity returning, and we need to pray and ask God how He wants us to use it. Could this be a season to take on a broader role with our ministry?
Two days later I found out I was pregnant with our fifth child. Unexpected, joyful, and overwhelming news. We all receive news in life that stops us in our tracks: an unexpected move, a diagnosis, a hope that didn’t come to be in our timing, an injustice. Really, each of us could fill in the blank: “______ has happened, and life will not be the same again.”
A week later morning sickness settled in, and I was sharing with the Lord:
How are we going to do this? Life was a beautiful FULL—how will we be able to handle another one? How will I be able to give each child the attention I want to give? How will I manage homeschooling? How will I bear the migraines again now that I can’t take any of these medicines? How will I get through today feeling so sick and caring for four kids, much less the next two months?
In my spirit I heard the Lord say:
I am sufficient.
Over the course of the next week, I heard that same message three times in different ways. I began to meditate on 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I have been wrestling through this passage for nine nausea-filled weeks now. In my flesh, I don’t want to be weak. I like turning the corner on a hard season and feeling strong. I like feeling like I have a handle on life am thriving in my various roles as a wife, mom and missionary. But according to these verses, in order for His power to be made perfect in me, I have to have weakness.
I have been deliberating: Do I really desire to be dependent on the Lord? Will I gladly embrace weakness so that His power may rest on me? Will I choose to be content with weaknesses, and even boast of them, so that Christ may be made known through my life?
Friends, I am asking God to help me answer “yes” to these questions. I am asking Him to shift my thinking that I would believe wholeheartedly that when I am weak, then I am strong. I am asking for His sufficiency to far surpass my inadequacy. I am asking Him to prune me of an independently-lived life that avoids hardship.
I have no mommy missionary life suggestions for you today. I simply offer that I am weak and in need of His power, and I am in the fight to embrace contentment and dependence on our Sufficient God. If you are struggling to keep up with life and ministry, you are not alone, friend. I pray my words will encourage you and you too will see His grace is sufficient.
Linnette

Linnette, your words are life-giving; honest; encouraging. It's where many are and bless you, you are the blessing.I'm praying for your pregnancy and this special gift … I remember one of my peer Nav wives saying, \”some gift\”. 🙂 It will be so good to see how God meets you in your new reality.
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